LOViNG YOu

Loving you isn’t difficult
Loving you isn’t impossible
Loving you is complicated!
Loving you is complicated!!
Loving you is challenging!!!
You are a gift that came with a curse
A blessing in the premises of a nemesis
A pearl in a seashell lounging on the floor of the deepest depths of the reefs
A bee that pollinates, gives honey and that stings
A room with bright lights tinged with glooms
This passion that I harbour… this passion comes with a plague
This passion is bitter-sweet
Changing phases; day, then night. Rain, then shine
This place of refuge, sometimes I’m held captive
This safe haven, sometimes Hell
The floors of this orchard is littered with too many flaws
Garden of beautiful roses littered with wild thorns
This passion comes with pain
This choice comes with consequences
This commitment comes with risks and tendencies
Why did I choose to love you? Why didn’t I choose something else?
Will you ever pick me? Will you ever leave me in the lurch if I don’t keep up?
Loving you is challenging!
Loving you is complicated!!
Loving you is complicated!!
Mood swinging like a pendulum, manic-depressions
“I can... I can’t!”
“I can… I can’t!!”
“I can… I can’t!!!”
This passion is an infliction that can harness fiery rage
Sometimes I want to leave this field, but the flux is too strong
Sometimes I want to stay, but the burden is too heavy
Guilt trips, this road to Glory is paved with molten lava
On this journey lies many mirages with warning signs “the destination is still far though it seems near”
Loving you feels good but never easy!
Loving you requires more than usual… patience and resilience!!
Loving you is complicated!!!
Loving you is complicated!!!!
You bring me fulfilment and sometimes you give me recurring frustrations
You make me promises and sometimes you offer me disappointments
You give me purpose and sometimes you take it away
You show me hope and sometimes you feed me despair
You reward me and sometimes you punish me
This commitment; for better for worse… is it everlasting?
You consume me; thousand thoughts firing, thousand litres of dopamine gushing, thousand emotions flaring
You consume me; first thing in the AM, all day daydreaming, last thing in the PM
Mood swinging like a pendulum, manic-depressions
“Give up… Try Again!”
Which is easier?
“Give up… Try Again!!”
Which is more difficult?
“Give up… Try Again!!!”
Sweet dreams, harsh realities
Every day I serenade! I serenade!! I serenade!!!
Hoping my best is more than enough, hoping that I am favoured
Hoping that someday the sigh of relief is loud enough to echo for such long time
Mood swinging like a pendulum, manic-depressions
“Stay… Leave!”
Which is easier?
“Stay… Leave!!”
Which is more difficult?
“Stay… Leave!!!”
Loving you is challenging!
This passion is making me a warrior within, a fighter at heart
What you love, what you have passion for, is a source of happiness and a source of pain
I love art, I love to succeed and I love to win
Loving you is complicated!
Loving you is challenging!!
… So help me God

When is the right time to give up?
Is there really a moment to let go?
At what time do you realise that your enthusiasm and drive is unrealistic?
Is there really a time to walk away from the door because God didn't respond?
At what stress level does your resilience reach its breaking point?
How many times did you walk out and left the door open so you could still peek in?
When do you realise that your work-ethic is redundant?
How long can you endure?
Is it time to succumb to the Lion?
Should you throw in the towel?
or wave the white flag?
How many last chances have you promised?
Is there really a time to give up?
How does it feel?...
I don't know how it feels, and I probably never will.

COLOUR BLINDNESS

I'm the same man

On that podium, lend me the loudspeaker

I'm at the forefront of an Instigation 

With an audible message louder than my voice

For the redemption of my skin colour  

Because I'm the black man

Skin blacker than sin

Mental darker than sunset 

They say I'm bathed in dirty grease  

Bathing apes, they still flung bananas

Africa is a big jungle, we live on trees 

Dad lounges on the biggest branch 

Black heritage; descendants of fore fathers who were caged like wild gorillas  

Cuffed in shackles, adorned in rags,chain gangs 

Sold off in markets like stale commodities 

Or traded for sugar and gun powders 

Shipped like consignments in cargo ships

Packed in chambers like canned goods

Some disposed into the sea without a burial, no eulogy, no reefs... Just feed for fishes

The lucky ones; reapers singing Hymns in cotton fields

They were never employees... Slaves; whipped, raped, hanged, incinerated  

The human race suffers racial segregation, the Apartheid.

The ku klux klan love my extermination and hate my emancipation 

That hate me, my culture, my heritage and all of my race... Don't they?

I'm the victim of Racial profiling, being black is my crime 

I'm the same man who isn't stereotyping 

Call myself Malcolm X or Martin Luther king 

And hashtag #JusticeForTrayvonMartin

I'm the same man

On that podium, lend me the loudspeaker 

Calling out for racial justice 

I'm the same black man that condemn the white man 

Though my own forefathers sold us off for a few shillings and guns

But use that same gun to kill another black man 

We've fallen to tribal wars and invasions

Black heritage but Tribalism and tribal profiling is shredding us into pieces 

We hunt our own kind, are we colour blind?

Harm one another with Black magic, hexes and voodoo charms 

Prey on each other like game; human sacrifices and rituals; 

Albinos in East Africa and hunchbacks are on the endangered list 

Autocratic dictators, Coup detats and uprisings 

The countless genocides and homicides in Africa  

Same skin but political affiliation divides us

Same skin but tribal allegiance separate us 

Burn down the whole village because we belong to different parties 

Ethnic discrimination, the typical example of nepotism 

Sometimes blood isn't thicker than water

Because we've sacrificed family ties for kinship ties 

Bloodlines become bad blood

Relatives become enemies 

The same brothers of the same father shed blood flood because they emanate from different gates

I'm the same man on that podium 

Oblivious to the irony

Unawares to the kind of a living paradox that I am

That I only generalise violence and barbarism based on skin colour 

Violence is only an anomaly of human nature

They hate us, but do we love ourselves?

I wish we were all colour blind 

Logic Or Emotion?

"I THINK t's wrong but it FEELS right"

There's a perpetual repulsion inside man; between conscience and emotion, between his heart and his mind. His logical mind relentlessly struggles to reconcile with the spontaneous emotions of his heart. There's no logic in emotion, there's no rationale behind it's thrilling spontaneity but then, there's no thrill in logic and a lack of drive.... Reasoning is simply boring.  His emotions drive him but his mind cautions. While his mind is mostly always right, the wants of his heart often drives him to the wrong and forbidden. Even when the right things seek him, he rather flees to the ones that harm him. Though his mind speaks and his heart only beats, he listens more to the echoes of the latter. The power of emotion often outweighs his conscience. The fantasy of emotion clouds the judgement of his decisions, thoughts and reality. There's a perpetual repulsion inside man; 

"I THINK it's wrong but it FEELS right"

#WinOrLose

I think that if the desire of every man to win outweighs his loathe of losing, he will not find a reason to give up but he will find an excuse to try again.

#BeyondBelief

That perfect balance between restlessness and patience; that while you wait for God's answer, you rest not. That you wake up and work harder than you did yesterday... until His favour finds you! #BeyondBelief

I AM..

I'm relentlessly restless but I'm patient.
I am better than before but I'm not satisfied.
How can you sit on the clouds when you can lounge on the moon?
I can't be comfy, there's more...
I am not there yet, but I'm grateful so far, Alhamdulilah.
I am a raging bull, but I will be calm till I can charge.
Why keep calm when you can storm and reign?
Rain charities for the less privileged
I am a v12 Bugatti engine, but I will cruise slowly till I can find a full stretch.
We may be bench-warmers, but we will get some playing time.
We are the audience but someday we will own the stage, bask in the spotlight and have the ovation.
I can never be the best, but I will try.
They say perfection is impossible, let me dare.
Mistakes are scar tissues to wisdom anyway, I'm fully aware.
In the hallway banging on doors of opportunity and praying.
Preying on answers to questions that are keys to fortune.
I'm not there yet, but I'm still running.
Facing obstacles, roadblocks, and barricades.
But we will have to figure out a way over, under, around or through it.
The Thirst is a drive, The hunger is more than an instinct.
Faith is the only assurance, you'll find an oasis in a vast desert.
Sometimes doubt creeps in
and scary thoughts;
That not all gems will make it out of the earth
That not all diamonds will make it out of the rough
That not all pearls will be treasured
That not all talents will be discovered
That not all flowers will sprout
That the Dream is only a daydream
And you feel pinned down
That you want to put the pen down
Cos your stories will never become lofty storeys
The night has overstayed it's welcome,
and the dawn is taking to long
But you can't give up, can you? You've already travelled far.
Are you going to sit down and let Time consume you?
Your prayers are only micro-decibels and God is several magnitude of light years away
The truth is; He still listens... even your heartbeat
My ambition is too wild to be stable! Like a radioactive fission
It's impossible but I'm on a mission
Already consumed by the birth of legacy at a young age...
Our time will come by God's leave, but we shall rest not
... so help me God